Marriage retreat

The week after Shane's biking accident, we were scheduled to go to a marriage retreat. At first I wasn't sure if we'd be able to make it... but Shane assured me he was feeling well enough to go. The retreat was held by our base chapel. They flew in a chaplain from the States to run the course. It was 2 nights/2 days, and took place in a BEAUTIFUL area of Turkey called Pozanti, which is about an hour and a half drive from the base. We stayed at a place called Pendosis Resort, which was set way up in the mountains in an enclosed, secluded area. We followed our good friends John & Wendi out there, and a guide from the resort met us at a gas station when we got close so he could lead us the rest of the way. Good thing too, because there were some windy roads and many turns. We went up, up, up into the mountains. We arrived at the resort and were greeted by a tall, impressive-looking gate. Here are some pictures of the resort:

The marriage retreat was really good! There were only 4 hours of "class time" and the rest of the weekend we had free time to spend quiet time together as couples. The chaplain gave us four lectures, each one based off of one of the marriage vows. I liked the lessons, so here's a brief synopsis:

1) I take you - Here he talked about accepting ALL of the person you married. "I take you, the good and the bad." He talked about family traditions, values, and baggage; things carried into the marriage from the root families. It's hard to accept the baggage sometimes, but who doesn't have baggage?

2) To have and to hold - This was broken further into the 3 C's. Communication, Commitment, and Companionship. During the retreat, he had us couples participate in "knee-to-knee" time. Sitting across from each other, knees touching, looking at each other and communicating. It was really nice, and it felt like such a safe environment to be completely honest with each other. And he reminded us that there are NO PERFECT MARRIAGES. The only perfect marriage was between Adam and Eve, right up until sin entered the world.

3) For better or for worse - We are all so DIFFERENT! We all have inherent personality traits, and they all have the potential to be good OR bad. For example, I am very organized. This is good because it helps us to keep the house tidy, get bills paid on time, plan trips, etc. But it can be bad when I go overboard, and my OCD tendencies kick in. It puts stress on Shane because I start to expect the same amount of perfection from him. And if I do cause him un-due stress, Shane needs to communicate that to me. If he doesn't, it can build up resentment. The chaplain talked about marriage like a train, and little resentments here and there can de-rail it. Don't let small things de-rail your marriage!

4) To love and to cherish - This one is obvious. Love is a CHOICE. We must learn HOW to express love to our mate (a good book about this is "The Five Love Languages") and choose daily to put them before ourselves. Agape love is sacrificial love. It's loving your spouse even when he or she is not particularly lovable or deserving of love. And we must learn how to successfully deal with failures and hurts, because we will ALL fail at one time or another. We are sinners trying to live a holy life together.

Even though we haven't even been married a year, we felt that it was a good idea to go to a marriage retreat - get our marriage off to the right start. We'd like to try to go to one yearly, if possible. We learned a lot from this retreat, and enjoyed some peaceful time together and in fellowship with other Christian couples. Here are some more pictures from the retreat:

It was a wonderful weekend with my BFF. We learned a lot, and will hopefully implement those things in our marriage. It's hard sometimes. You learn these things at marriage retreats and it all sounds so easy and common sense... but then you go home and you fall into sinful self-driven dynamics, and it becomes harder. It's not natural to put someone else's needs and wants before your own. It takes a lot of prayer and reliance on God. I'm still learning that.

Last, but certainly not least - there was a big event that happened at the end of the retreat. We had been eyeing these stray dogs that were hanging around the resort. They were obviously still puppies, but were good-sized. They looked part husky. We stopped and played with them and absolutely fell in love. Well, we ended up going home with a new family member!! That story deserves its own post, so for now I'll just post a picture of the two dogs... later we'll tell you all about our newest little furry baby, Bonnie Blue (the black dog).