It's been a long time since either Shane or I wrote on here. Life gets so busy. After our Israel trip, I had a lot of catching up to do at work. Shane got a job at the school (praise God!!) working in the library part-time. The part-time hours are great since he's doing online classes as well. He is fantastic with the kids, and from what I hear there are several little girls who have crushes on "Mr. Shane". Haha.
We've basically returned to the "norm". The initial excitement and rush of the trip to the Holy Land has sadly worn off. That always seems to be the case with trips like that. I know that I experienced it with my mission trip to Kenya. During the trip you feel so enlightened and so close to God, afterwards you go home feeling more on fire for Christ than ever. And soon enough the grind of daily life sets in... and we quickly forget what we learned. I find myself being so cranky and irritable at work. I'm letting Incirlik get to me. When we got here, many people told us about how hard it was here. At the time, I didn't really understand. It's Turkey! It's on the Med!! Clinic hours are great!! No more residency craziness, woohoo! Amazing travel opportunities! Carpets and shopping galore!! And while I do appreciate all of those things, there are definitely some hard things that come with this assignment. I could go on and on about how small this base is and how I miss Chick Fil-A and Target (which is no small matter, by the way)... but I think the hardest thing for me lately has been the feeling of loneliness. Although I am married and I am head over heels in love with my husband, I still yearn for my family and for female companionship. I miss my sister SO much. I wish I could take one of those supersonic jets and fly out to Las Vegas every weekend to see her. And I miss my girlfriends. The ones that I have known for years, who I can hang out with after not talking in forever and "pick up where we left off". It's so hard to stay in touch, especially with the time difference. I have a couple of good friends here, but it's different when you get married. You don't have as much free time to invest in friendships as before. Your married friends also have spouses (and children) that they need to spend time with. Girl time becomes rare and much more complicated to coordinate. I feel like that part of my life has become a little less full than I'm used to. I was always blessed with an abundance of friends everywhere I went, and had my sister and roommates as built-in full-time companions. It was easy. Now it takes more work.
But maybe this is a season God is allowing for a reason. Maybe I was filling that God-shaped hole in my heart with girlfriends. Maybe that emptiness isn't because of my lack of girlfriends, but because of my lack of God time. I haven't been spending quality time with my Savior. What does that look like? Reading Scripture, obviously. Listening to worship music. Praying. Writing in my journal. Going for a walk - by myself. Making a list of things I am thankful for. Serving someone.
It all sounds so obvious and even a bit cliche... but it's tough to put it into practice. My days get so filled up with work, meetings, bible study, youth group, errands, and chores. And then on the weekends, I feel like I need a break - I sleep in, relax, watch movies, and before I know it the weekend is over and I haven't spent any time doing the things I just listed above.
Wow, that was a bunch of rambling. That's what I get for writing at 11pm at night when I have insomnia. Hopefully the next post will be a little more entertaining. :)
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